I thought I had possibly one more year?

God has been speaking to me the past couple of weeks.  I mean LOUD.  It is good when he really wants to get my attention that he uses his out door voice because sometimes I'm not a very good listener. This is not something I am proud of and often times I speak to him and then wait and listen very closely to hear his answer and then don't ever hear his reply. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Thank you GOD, I hear you.
My beautiful, amazing daughter is approaching her 16th birthday.  I know right? When did that happen?  I have felt very blessed her whole life to enjoy a wonderfully easy relationship with her. I have enjoyed her growing into sarcasm, she has certainly perfected that art. She is an artist at nail design, hair and make-up. She has began looking forward to Friday night, nothing wrong with that. She is interested in guys and they in her.  Again a normal progression of growth. This actually happened a couple of summers ago.  You will see my blog, the summer she turned pretty.
High school this year and all that goes along with that transition has left me feeling sad, left out, taken advantage of and forgotten. I knowwwwww this is normal too. I really thought I had one more year.
My life for the past 16 years has been my Emily. I waited nearly 40 years for her to come. I have loved every minute.
Preparation for separation is well under way at my house.  My pastor shared this phenomenon with me in a class about death and dying.  It was most helpful at that point I was dealing with an aging father with alzheimers. He interjected that it happens as your children prepare to leave home as well. He was experiencing that at his house with a daughter.  Fast forward............my house.
Week ends now pass with only a couple of hours of "us" time.  Nights are spent in her room texting, watching TV and listening to music. This week end she leaves with friends to Lake Chelan.  She didn't want or need my help packing, what's the big deal Mom? I got this.  I dropped her off at school this morning after tense words and eye rolls, heavy sigh.  She will be gone when I get off work. I kinda feel like Andy's toys in Toy Story when he goes off to college.  Hmpf....
Last night before bed I read a short story in Guideposts.  Gods way of speaking to me. The word I heard in the story was don't worry, turn it over to me, I got this, I got her and I got you. Relax Momma this is all part of the plan. My plan.  A work mate of mine and I call these moments God moments.  I have been having them for the past couple of weeks, if I would just pay closer attention.  I really didn't need that ticket last Friday, but I get it.  Slow down, listen, I am her.
God is Great.

Thanks for the reminder!

So, most everyone that knows me knows I have a bit of a heavy foot.  In fact, one previous blog was dedicated to this topic.  I think there is a trend forming. Hmmmmmm.
For the  past 4 hours I have been angry and officer Wright, the Pasco police department and their sneaky little speed trap, and ultimately myself.  I usually have to work through these things before I reach the appropriate place to lay the blame. Grrrrrrrrr
I was just going to the post office downtown to pick up mail Friday for the possible check one of my customers may have sent. I had seen the speed trap right there earlier in the week and thought phewww glad I was paying attention there.   Arghhhhhhh Not so much today apparently.
Today there were two cars, Pasco's finest, one decided to pull that granny in the silver Acura over and see what whe was up to.  I know the drill.  I had my license, proof of insurance, and registration ready and waiting.  After the pleasant greeting the officer who was about to ruin my day asked why I was driving so fast.  Several things popped into my brain at this moment.  First the delightful story I read on face book that ended with the line " I bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding too !", Followed directly by the remark " well, I wasn't speeding officer,  I was qualifying.  Common sense took hold before I answered, thank God!! Well, sir I honestly did not realize I was going too fast.
After the wait of shame, while cars passed by the car pulled over by the flashing lights, the officer handed me back all my papers along with his own he was giving me, he informed me he had given me a HUGE break by only writing me at 5 miles over. That interprets monitarily to $113.00
Well, geez, thanks so much! I will drive safely thank you and you have a nice day too.
Ohhhhhhhhhh that sucks.
So, thank you once again Pasco PD for reminding me the importance of paying close attention to the local speed limits.
Head slap inserted here.  

Another Escapee!

I threw a small pity party this afternoon and guess what? No one showed up! Just me, all by myself. I got over it, or maybe not 'cause here I am blogging about it. Sheeesh. I really need to pull up my big girl panties and move along. 
So it all started off at the post office while I was buying stamps for work. Kathy, the gal at the window that has been waiting on me for a long time tells me it's her next to last day of work.  Yep, she is retiring early. Now several years ago I used to hear this kind of news and be alllll sad, geez, I'm gonna miss ya, yikes I'm gonna hafta break in a new person, boooo.  I'm not sure when it happened but here of late whenever I hear of a relativly young, healthy person, getting to retire and move on in life I applaud, cheer and offer congratulations. Escape from the 8-5 five days a week appeals to me and I am genuinely happy whenever "another one" gets to escape. Turns out Kathy has been at her job for 34 years and she is 55. Good for her! That is an early excape, with benifits! Sweet!
On the pity party side of things, I have been at my job 36 years and I am going to be 55 next month.
My exit plan is non existant, I don't even know what it looks like yet.  I could really get behind the exit plan the guy down the street is working on.  Seems as though McDonalds wants his corner lot and thinks it is worth in the neighborhood of 2.8 million.  Hey!! I am in that neighborhood!! How about we talk, Taco Bell?
I am also that person that after I complain about my lot, guilt grabs me by the throat, and I find it necessary to acknowledge the blessings in my life.  So, thank you generous God for all the many blessings in my life. I have a wonderful family, husband and daughter. I am loved and really want for nothing.  I have a home and toys, great friends to enjoy life with.
So, with that I will say bye for now.  Thanks for listening.

Aging is not for whimps!

Wow, it has been a really long time since I have blogged. I really like it too. A diary for big people! As I logged on today I find my niece has also recently blogged. She is incredibly funny so it was a nice surprise to find her back blogging too!
Lately an uninvited guest has been visiting me. His name is Arthir and he is a real pain in my....... ankles, fingers, and knees. I hate to go to the doctors and avoid it at all costs.  With my "little" cancer episode, I find it necessary to visit the doc at least once a year.  I ususally have several complaints on that visit. This year she was keyed in on mamogram, pap smear, dexascan, colonoscopy, and btw why is your blood pressure so high? Phhhh..... All I came for was to see about my stiff swollen fingers and painful ankles!! Geezz..... After $1000.00 worth of blood test, yep not even kidding, guess what?  I have arthiritis!! Noooo really?? My sister and I have been refering to out aches and pains as "polio" much to my nieces dismay, well until she devloped "polio" of her own that is.  If you think 30 sucks, wait til you see what 40 and 50 has for you. Just sayin... Anyway, I get a referal to yet another doctor for my arthiritis and guess what?  Not taking any new patients, well that's great.
I badgered my gp doc into treating me and she gave me a script for Meloxicam. Ok, lets do this, wait, what? The side effects and warnings hurt worse then the arthiritis, yikes, Am I really going to take that?  Still deciding, ibprofen is getting me through the day for now. I have been blessed in so many ways to complain seem wrong to me. Buttttttttt, her I am.
I have been border line anemic since I was 12. In my early 20's technology advanced to the point of figuring out where that blood was actually going.  "Bleedy thing" in my stomach called angiodysplashia, "gee we don't see this in young people, just older folks". Guess what? Nothing to do about it unless it gets really bad then they can go in and cauterize it.  Just keep taking your iron.  Okkkkkkk. I acquire a mole on my back that is not very attractive, so I go have it checked out.  Oh that's nothing, just a sebborheic keritosis, a barnacle if you will.  Just leave it be.  Then I acquire these little soft rolly nodules under my skin, wth?  On no those aren't anything, lypomas, never cancer, just leave them be. Hmmmmmm Mamogram shows something at 42, probably nothing, WRONG!! SOMETHING!! Lumpectomy, radiation, chemo and 5 years of tamoxifen. More lypoma, more seb K, and now arthiritis, I am only now 54!! Yikes not looking good. I seem to have gotten all the weird junk. How does that work? I guess we will take it one day at a time.  That dexascan, which I have had one already, and the colonoscopy which I have also had one of, will have to wait till later.
This aging is definately not for whimps!

Hello......... Is anybody there?

So, My sister got on the plane Monday afternoon and flew away for 15 days to sunny Las Vegas, Nevada.  Her annual pilgrimage with her college friend we affectionately call "Berta".  Most of the rest of the world calls her Diane, which makes me think "we" are special. They have been inviting me the past few years, I would secretly lovvvveeee to go some year. Also secretly I am envious of my school friend Debbie that just got back from Eqypt. Yep... not even kidding.  She got to drive a camel and see the pyramids and she now has a recipe of how to make a mummy.  How cool is that, I ask you?  Right now I am monatarily challenged with cataract surgery, braces and a car looming large in front of me so probably not gonna happen any time soon. Alsoooooooo this Monday, my daughter left for a week at church camp.  I did not want to go to Liberty Lake with her but I secretly miss her like crazy.  I also think I am sounding like Junie B. Jones right now, hmmmmmm. So, Bruce and Petey and Tess and Oscar and Prince and the bazillion birds all got to stay home. It's not so bad 'cause we have been having the most WICKED thunder, lightening and rain storms ever at home.  I love to watch.
I am kinda feeling like I was left home alone on account of a daughter and a sister being gone.  I only have one of each, too.
The not so good thing is that we had an Uncle die this week and there is a funeral coming up. THis is my Dad's brother and it was unexpected.  My died 4 years ago, and sadly it was expected. Not sure which is better, if either. No sister or daughter to go along, a husband, and aunt and the California cousins. The other not so good thing that happened is one of the Mansfield cousins had a stroke yesterday and she will be in the hospital a few days.  We won't get to see her at the funeral, but I guess she will be ok. There will be some Spokane cousins at the funeral too.  Well, time is up, I gotta run.  Ohhhh Hello? Is anybody there?

Things I don't like, that make me less then happy

It seemed the only natural post to follow my earlier one on things I like that make me happy. I feel this one will be shorter but we'll see how it goes.
1)  Inventory
2)  Painting
3)  Worrying that my wonderful husband is going to be rude or insult someone.
      I used to call this trait early in our marriage "being brutally honest" but I have changed my mind on this.
4)  Asking people for donations - for anything.
5)  The stress that is at the beginning of any trip we ever take.  Once on the road things level out but oh we  
     are going to hate each other for the first 20 miles.
6)  Parents that allow their children to run wild and scream in the stores.
7)  Going to the doctor for anything.
8)  Going to the dentist for anything.
9)  Not having extra cash tucked away for an emergency
10) People that sit behind you at the game, movies, concert, etc... that kick and push on the back of your 
      seat.
11) People that try to impose their superiority on you or your ideas.
12) People that try to "fix" or "improve" my daughter that already happens to be PERFECT!
13) People that abuse children, old people and pets.
14) Speaking in front of people, groups, etc...
15) Being too warm anywhere.  Menopause really messed my thermostat up, just sayin. I would prefer being
      chilly.
16) Mushrooms.......I am sorry, they taste like earth to me.
17) That cherry tomato you expect to be so sweet and scrumptious but it nasty and bitter.  Thank you
       McDonalds for that experience, I will never forget.
I guess that is probably enough of the negative.  In to each life a little rain must fall, right?  If you didn't have
the bad you'd have nothing to compare the good to.
Enough said.

Random things that make me happy

I haven't posted for awhile.  Nothing has been speaking to me lately I guess.  This morning in the shower I was going over a mental list of things I like and make me happy.  Some are profound, some sappy and most simply random.They are in no particular order, just how they are coming off my head.  So here goes....
1) Tri-City sunsets ( they are the best)
2) The smell of the outdoors after a rain
3) The smell of puppies breath
4) The sound of my daughter saying "Mom" and loving that she is talking to me
5) Song birds in my back yard on a spring day
6) The feel of a completely clean house
7) Time spent with my sister (even if we are painting)
8) Russian olive trees blooming (even though they plug my sinus)
9) Foot rubs
10)Peanut Buster Parfaits from Dairy Queen
11)Brand new baby pigeons
12)The way my dog gets so excited when I come home to him
13) The nuber 13
14) All things Twilight
15)The smell of the woods in the morning when we are out camping
16)The sound of my fish pond outside my bedroom window
17) Fat Bottom girls blaring on the load speaker early in the AM of Boat race weekend
18) Sitting out in lawn chairs after sunset at the same boat races
19) Having money in the bank
20) Motor cycle rides
21) Movies and lunch with the girls
22) Loving the same man for 27 years
23) Family - all of them
24) In the boat on the river
25) All things Christmas
I guess the list could go on and on.  This is a good start I guess.