God has been speaking to me the past couple of weeks. I mean LOUD. It is good when he really wants to get my attention that he uses his out door voice because sometimes I'm not a very good listener. This is not something I am proud of and often times I speak to him and then wait and listen very closely to hear his answer and then don't ever hear his reply. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Thank you GOD, I hear you.
My beautiful, amazing daughter is approaching her 16th birthday. I know right? When did that happen? I have felt very blessed her whole life to enjoy a wonderfully easy relationship with her. I have enjoyed her growing into sarcasm, she has certainly perfected that art. She is an artist at nail design, hair and make-up. She has began looking forward to Friday night, nothing wrong with that. She is interested in guys and they in her. Again a normal progression of growth. This actually happened a couple of summers ago. You will see my blog, the summer she turned pretty.
High school this year and all that goes along with that transition has left me feeling sad, left out, taken advantage of and forgotten. I knowwwwww this is normal too. I really thought I had one more year.
My life for the past 16 years has been my Emily. I waited nearly 40 years for her to come. I have loved every minute.
Preparation for separation is well under way at my house. My pastor shared this phenomenon with me in a class about death and dying. It was most helpful at that point I was dealing with an aging father with alzheimers. He interjected that it happens as your children prepare to leave home as well. He was experiencing that at his house with a daughter. Fast forward............my house.
Week ends now pass with only a couple of hours of "us" time. Nights are spent in her room texting, watching TV and listening to music. This week end she leaves with friends to Lake Chelan. She didn't want or need my help packing, what's the big deal Mom? I got this. I dropped her off at school this morning after tense words and eye rolls, heavy sigh. She will be gone when I get off work. I kinda feel like Andy's toys in Toy Story when he goes off to college. Hmpf....
Last night before bed I read a short story in Guideposts. Gods way of speaking to me. The word I heard in the story was don't worry, turn it over to me, I got this, I got her and I got you. Relax Momma this is all part of the plan. My plan. A work mate of mine and I call these moments God moments. I have been having them for the past couple of weeks, if I would just pay closer attention. I really didn't need that ticket last Friday, but I get it. Slow down, listen, I am her.
God is Great.
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